Is he trustworthy ?

Maybe you’re pondering this question and remembering all of the times you’ve been burned – perhaps a few times (or several, or dozens)…  I hear you.  I’ve been there…  1000%.
Given my track record, I think most people in my shoes would have been tempted to throw in the towel with dating a looong time ago, and I almost did…
At one point, I was in my mid-twenties, single, in and out of abusive relationships, feeling used, feeling rejected, feeling miserable, feeling unworthy, etc… I was confused, frustrated, and felt powerless.
“I’m pretty, successful, a great catch – everything is good on paper, so why isn’t this working for me…?  There must be something REALLY wrong with me.  I must be defective in some way that I can’t see and can’t change.”
These were thoughts I had frequently.  And then I had the thoughts that were more along the lines of “Geez men really suck these days – this generation just doesn’t get it,” or “I guess all of the good ones are taken,” or (and I love this one), ” No one will appreciate, love or understand me because I’m too weird/bad/different/too much/too sensitive/emotional/not enough/etc.”  I went back and forth between these thoughts soo many times.  It was exhausting and I felt powerless.
I’ve heard sooo many women say they “can’t trust men.”  But what they *really* mean by this is that they…
A:  can’t trust themselves to select the best man for them, or
B:  that they believe “the perfect match just doesn’t exist”
99.99% of the time though…  we can all acknowledge that the concept of the perfect match DOES exist and what this conversation is *really* about is self-trust.
Because let’s be honest… you can rerun the story of “no great men exist” in your mind, but then you look around and notice happily coupled people so we know that story just isn’t true!!
I say this with love, the issue is about YOU and your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself and THAT is what’s creating the resulting lack of trust.  This is NOT about the universe being unable to provide you with what you need and desire.  The universe is abundant and it is available to support you when you choose to be ready and open to it working its magic.
The AMAZING thing is that your current thoughts/feelings/beliefs about trust don’t own you…  You own them – you can transform them, and you can transform yourself, and your results.  You have the power, {!firstname_fix}.
And if you’re wondering “what do you mean – why wouldn’t I trust myself??  I mean, I think I do…  It seems like a natural, given, expected skill for everyone to have, right??  Doesn’t everybody just naturally… trust themselves??”
The answer is NO.
Self-trust, just like experiencing trust from others, is earned.  We actually build it by keeping our word to ourselves and then we can lose it if we don’t keep up with that.  Much like a workout or healthy eating, you will lose trust in yourself just a quickly as you lose muscle mass when you don’t commit and you don’t follow through on your word to yourself.  #beimpeccablewithyourword
Think about it.  How crappy do you feel when you’ve missed the workout you said you were going to do?  When you skipped that date because you felt you had to work late?  When you put your nail appointment off because you had to take care of a friend/the kids/the house/etc?
You feel crappy because all of this not-doing-what-you-said-you-were-gonna-do has you feeling like you’re missing out.  When you put other factors in front of YOU (and the things that matter to you and create joy/fulfillment/meaning in your life) you send messages to your subconscious mind that “you aren’t worthy” of what it is that you said you were going to do.  And the more you don’t keep your word to yourself…. the less worthy you feel in general.  What starts with “I’m not worthy of my workout,” may become, “I’m not worthy of my workout, my healthy eating habits, or my me time,” and finally, “I’m not worthy.”
Do you see what just happened there?  And can you see how simple it i would be to unravel it?
To build an unshakeable sense of self-trust and confidence, all it takes is commitment.  Now events do come up in life – nothing is perfect or guaranteed to work out 100% the way we plan 100% of the time.  Sometimes we do have to postpone our desires to put out fires in life BUT when it becomes a common occurrence, that is all you {!firstname_fix}…  And I say that with love…  you allowing others to consistently come first because their needs seem more important or urgent than what you have going on… is exactly what’s creating the trust issues in your life – within yourself, and in your relationships with men (and others!).  #putyouroxygenmaskonfirst
So many of us go through this at one time or another…  Some of us go through it periodically as life changes occur and our balance is thrown off.  That’s OK.  Just know that your recommitting to keeping your word and putting you first is going to be THE THING that repairs that and keeps you moving in a positive direction towards your goals!!
I literally just went through this over the past several months so I can definitely speak to it.
I moved across the country, staffed a leadership program, started a new job, etc etc etc.  I knew I was taking on a lot but underestimated the amount of time my commitments would take and also failed to set aside time for unexpected activities that might come up.
Time is like money – we get to manage it.
Anyway, I knew as I was going in to this new phase of my life that I would experience some challenges around self-trust as a result.  Due to that awareness, I was able to bounce back fairly quickly.
Awareness is key.  And, yes, the imbalance happened and as you can guess that was an ANNOYING experience for me haha!  But I was aware of it, worked through the challenges, recommitted, and moved forward with an improved plan for success.  #effective #rockingit
You get to do this, too.  In fact, I have homework for you this week.  #challenge!
Watch the video below, follow the instructions, and remember to recommit to three tasks that you’ve been shelving this week!  You can even write to me with these if that will support you in feeling accountable.  I look forward to encouraging you to #win at this!!!  I get to be your cheerleader.  So fun.
A WORD TO THE WISE:  You WILL see shifts when you recommit to yourself (even with what may seem like minor tweaks!) so don’t be shocked when, the following day/week/month something cool and unexpected happens as a result of this change that you’re making.  Keep me posted.
Love you oodles.  Have a great week!!


Chief Emotional Badass at Katie Titi, Love Designer​​​​​​​

P.S. Book a strategy call with me and let’s design an upgrade to your love life so you can experience amazing results STAT.